June 30 Saturday

8.45-9.05 Padmasana/Mantra
A few blips in the Ajna chakra but I had my tea before sitting and watched Bill Griffith talk about his daughter dying of cancer.  It was difficult to break through those things.  Still good.

6.35-7.05 pm MMM Shavasana/Stillness/Breathing 30 minutes
Mind wandered and exhale was very ragged until the last 10 minutes or so, then all was well.

9.05-9.25 pm Padmasana/Mantra
Had beer with dinner, so not awesome
Had to fight leaving my seat toward the end.
Many breaks

relevant result

June 29 Friday

6.36-6.46 Padmasana/Mantra
Had to stop due to knee pain

6.50-7.20 18 hands
Seems to have cleared knee and hip pain.
Had a dream last night that Pauline, my father and I were on the back of a giant dragon/seal who was telling about the way the world was formed when ice cracked.

~7.20pm MMM Shavasana/Breathing/Stillness 30 minutes
labored due to exhaustion I hitnk
half visualized/half recieved strange chant, almost latin, being recited over my body.  Felt as though I was in the middle of a great seal, protected.
Visualized Augoeides as Azazel.

Padmasana/Mantra -17 minutes
Had a feeling as though my body was galvanizing.  Focused like a lazer between my eyebrows which felt as if it were opening (Ajna experience).
Is this progress or nonsense?

relevant result

June 28 Thursday

6.40-6.55 Padmasana/Mantra

3.15pm Rite
Hatha yoga banishing:


-Janu Sirsasana Left, Right
-Pavritta Janu Sirsasana Left, Right
-Upavistha Konasana
-Paschimottanasana
(the above x3)

-Baddha Padmasana right side
-Janusirsana with Ardhabaddhapadmasana Left, right

-Hands and knees Ardhadhanurasana Left, right
-Hands and knees Parvrittardhadhanurasana Left, right
-Uthitta Balasana
-Adhomukhasvanasana

-Tadasana
-UthittaTadasana
-Uttansana
-High Lunge Left, Right
-Konasana Left, Right
-Pavrittatrikonasana Left, Right
-Lizard Posture (utthan pristhasana) Left, Right
-One armed Plank (6 breaths) Left, Right
-Chaturanga dandasana
-Superman
-Adhomukasvansana
-Vashishthasana variation with leg raise Left, Right
-Camatkarasana (wild thing) Left, Right
-Adhomukasvansana
-Padangusthasana

-Tadasana
-Uthitta Tadasana
-Virabhadrasana 1 Left, Right
-Rotated Lateral Flank Left, Right
-One Armed Plank (6 breaths) Left, Right
-Chaturanga Dandasana
-Twisted Cobra (shashankpralasana)
-Adhomukasvansana
-TriviKramasana

-Agnisarkriya (standing, flapping on the last 3)
-Mayurasana (extended)

-Extended bridge
-Chakrasana x2
-Nauvasana
-Extended bridge
-Reclining twist

-Sirsasana (tilted on the forehead)
-Plough hands on feet
-Plough hands extended behind
-Sarvangasana

-Matsyasana
-Suptapadangustasana Left, Right

MMM-30 minutes
Bornless ritual
Padmasana/Mantra-20 minutes

Purpose: direct inspiration, superstitious charging of objects

Relevant Result

June 27 Wednesday

6.34-6.49 Padmasana/Mantra
Still sick
Right ankle took me out of practice early.  Need to get better soon.
Reclaim physical practice/sanity

7.30-8.00 Qi-Gong as banishing
18 hands

5.00 pm Ritual Structure
Centering-MMM Shavasana/Breathing/Stillness 30 minutes
Bornless Ritual- circle drawn, candle lit
-feet fell asleep
Banishing-Padmasana/Mantra 15 minutes

Still some light outside
purpose: direct inspiration, superstitious charging of objects
result: felt a large sinister presence during sitting at the end, more to follow?

relevant result

June 26 Tuesday

6.31-6.51 Padmasana/Mantra
The illness moved to my guts last night, indicating that it is on its way out of me.  I can't wait to start practicing hard again.

8.27-8.51 pm MMM Shavasana/Stillness/breathing
Feels good tonight, breath only has a little stutter.  0 physical breaks.

8.59-9.19 pm Padmasana/Mantra
1 mental break/no physical breaks
noticed the inexplicable smell of chocolate towards the end.
kept mantra the whole time
right foot very numb

relevant result

June 25 Monday

6.36-6.56am Padmasana/Mantra
difficult after having taken DXM last night due to the cold I'm weathering, but I think I'm winning the sick fight

7.52-8.22 pm MMM Shavasana/Stillness/Breathing
Much better on the ground, breath feels adept, but not quite masterful

Looking forward to both the remnants of this cold passing and establishing a rhythm at my new job so I can get back to hard practice

relevant result

June 24 Sunday (Return trip Home)

6.12-6.32 Padmasana/Mantra
May be getting sick

12.47-1.39 MMM Stillness/Breathing
Done in car, still not well.

Relevant Result

June 23 Saturday

7.44-8.01 Padmasana/Mantra

8.30-9.15 Red Rite
18 hands
Felt so good after not practicing for two days,
Breaks from practice seem important so they don't get stale.  Maybe I'm just not masterful enough to have these practices feel perpetually novel.

9.30-10.00 pm MMM Shavasana/Breath/Stillness
So good to practice tonight
My mind was cranking from all the interactions tonight, it needed to cool down.  Had the big wedding barbeque today.

Relevant result 1
Relevant result 2

June 22 Friday (marriage)

7.16-7.36 Padmasana/Mantra
Legs hurt pretty bad after practice today

8.00 Leaving to perform marriage ritual (guerrilla marriage)
-success-!

3.23-3.53 MMM Stillness/Breathing
In car, difficult, but I persisted
I like trying to be still while moving

Relevant result 1
Relevant Result 2

June 21 Thursday

7.34-7.52 Padmasana/Mantra
rough night for my guts last night
trance was very soothing this morning

8.00-9.47 Hatha Yoga


Janu Sirsasana Left, Right
-Pavritta Janu Sirsasana Left, Right
-Upavistha Konasana
-Paschimottanasana
(the above x3)

-Baddha Padmasana right side
-Janusirsana with Ardhabaddhapadmasana Left, right

-Hands and knees Ardhadhanurasana Left, right
-Hands and knees Parvrittardhadhanurasana Left, right
-Uthitta Balasana
-Adhomukhasvanasana

-Tadasana
-UthittaTadasana
-Uttansana
-High Lunge Left, Right
-Konasana Left, Right
-Pavrittatrikonasana Left, Right
-Lizard Posture (utthan pristhasana) Left, Right
-One armed Plank (6 breaths) Left, Right
-Chaturanga dandasana
-Superman
-Adhomukasvansana
-Vashishthasana variation with leg raise Left, Right
-Camatkarasana (wild thing) Left, Right
-Adhomukasvansana
-Padangusthasana

-Tadasana
-Uthitta Tadasana
-Virabhadrasana 1 Left, Right
-Rotated Lateral Flank Left, Right
-One Armed Plank (6 breaths) Left, Right
-Chaturanga Dandasana
-Twisted Cobra (shashankpralasana)
-Adhomukasvansana
-TriviKramasana

-Agnisarkriya (standing, flapping on the last 3)
-Seated Agnisarkriya (x3)
-Mayurasana (extended)

-Extended bridge
-Chakrasana x2
-Nauvasana
-Extended bridge
-Reclining twist

-Sirsasana (tilted on the forehead)
-Plough hands on feet
-Plough hands extended behind
-Sarvangasana

-Matsyasana
-Suptapadangustasana Left, Right
-Shavasana

Added seated agnisara for my guts

9.54-10.24 MMM Shavasana/Stillness/Breath
Confident, but exhausted.

relevant result

June 20 Wednesday

6.12-6.30 Padmasana/Mantra
1 yawn, still can't seem to get the hang of the discipline on vacation

6.45-8.23 Hatha Yoga

-Janu Sirsasana Left, Right
-Pavritta Janu Sirsasana Left, Right
-Upavistha Konasana
-Paschimottanasana
(the above x3)

-Baddha Padmasana right side
-Janusirsana with Ardhabaddhapadmasana Left, right

-Hands and knees Ardhadhanurasana Left, right
-Hands and knees Parvrittardhadhanurasana Left, right
-Uthitta Balasana
-Adhomukhasvanasana

-Tadasana
-UthittaTadasana
-Uttansana
-High Lunge Left, Right
-Konasana Left, Right
-Pavrittatrikonasana Left, Right
-Lizard Posture (utthan pristhasana) Left, Right
-One armed Plank (6 breaths) Left, Right
-Chaturanga dandasana
-Superman
-Adhomukasvansana
-Vashishthasana variation with leg raise Left, Right
-Camatkarasana (wild thing) Left, Right
-Adhomukasvansana
-Padangusthasana

-Tadasana
-Uthitta Tadasana
-Virabhadrasana 1 Left, Right
-Rotated Lateral Flank Left, Right
-One Armed Plank (6 breaths) Left, Right
-Chaturanga Dandasana
-Twisted Cobra (shashankpralasana)
-Adhomukasvansana
-TriviKramasana

-Agnisarkriya (standing, flapping on the last 3)
-Mayurasana (extended)

-Extended bridge
-Chakrasana x2
-Nauvasana
-Extended bridge
-Reclining twist

-Sirsasana (tilted on the forehead)
-Plough hands on feet
-Plough hands extended behind
-Sarvangasana

-Matsyasana
-Suptapadangustasana Left, Right
-Shavasana

Who is the great magician who makes the grass green?
Every yoga student initially calls the sensation of stretch "pain", it is eventually transformed.

9.00-10.30 Red Rite
18 hands
Pilgrim x3
Horseman x3

Bostaff work as self-flagellation?

-Went to Ellicott City, went into Hi-Ho Silver and managed to buy two wedding rings.  After chatting with the guy who sold them, this was the right choice.  Almost like diving providence, they had two just in our size.  (we have tiny fingers)

9.32-10.06 pm MMM Shavasana/Stillness/Breathing
feeling a lot better about this
almost ready to drop it to 30 minutes
it's cold in the basement tonight

10.07-10.25 pm Padmasana/Mantra
So tired today, glad my father came out of heart surgery okay.  he has a long way to go

relevant result

June 19 Tuesday

5.59-6.16 Padmasana/Mantra
broke early due to intense intestinal distress.
You can't spell intense without intestine
2 breaks for sneezing

6.20-8.07 Hatha Yoga


-Janu Sirsasana Left, Right
-Pavritta Janu Sirsasana Left, Right
-Upavistha Konasana
-Paschimottanasana
(the above x3)

-Baddha Padmasana right side
-Janusirsana with Ardhabaddhapadmasana Left, right

-Hands and knees Ardhadhanurasana Left, right
-Hands and knees Parvrittardhadhanurasana Left, right
-Uthitta Balasana
-Adhomukhasvanasana

-Tadasana
-UthittaTadasana
-Uttansana
-High Lunge Left, Right
-Konasana Left, Right
-Pavrittatrikonasana Left, Right
-Lizard Posture (utthan pristhasana) Left, Right
-One armed Plank (6 breaths) Left, Right
-Chaturanga dandasana
-Superman
-Adhomukasvansana
-Vashishthasana variation with leg raise Left, Right
-Camatkarasana (wild thing) Left, Right
-Adhomukasvansana
-Padangusthasana

-Tadasana
-Uthitta Tadasana
-Virabhadrasana 1 Left, Right
-Rotated Lateral Flank Left, Right
-One Armed Plank (6 breaths) Left, Right
-Chaturanga Dandasana
-Twisted Cobra (shashankpralasana)
-Adhomukasvansana
-TriviKramasana

-Agnisarkriya (standing, flapping on the last 3)
-Mayurasana (extended)

-Extended bridge
-Chakrasana x2
-Nauvasana
-Extended bridge
-Reclining twist

-Sirsasana (tilted on the forehead)
-Plough hands on feet
-Plough hands extended behind
-Sarvangasana

-Matsyasana
-Suptapadangustasana Left, Right
-Shavasana

During practice an old feeling of hopelessness began to well up.  It was quashed with inversions.

As the dog star rises over the pyramids

9.00-10.30 Red Rite
18 hands
Pilgrim x3
Horseman x3
-finally remembered the horseman form correctly

10.30-11.00 sigil writing for specific success in marriage

11.30-3.30 Ritual Savage Mill
Performed Bornless ritual and took photos to charge sigil in Savage Mill ruins.
procedure:
kabbalistic cross
ritual recital
null-gnosis while staring at sigils
recitation of barbarous names on sigils
kabbalistic cross

There are brand new "no trespassing" signs on everything.  A little nervous about that, but maintained concentration in that charged state pretty well.  It's hot and humid, Maryland.
Pauline said that halfway through my recitation things started to fall from the ruins above and she was a little nervous that I was bringing the whole place down.  I'd say it qualifies as a success in that case.

Burned the sigils a little way up the path leading away from the main ruins toward the great stone wall.

8.57-9.42 MMM Shavasana/Stillness/Breathing
breath very labored initially, almost perfect at the end.  Yawning for the first time

9.45-10.00 Padmasana/Mantra
still yawning, too tired to make it further

relevant result

June 18 Monday

6.15-7.12 Padmasana/Mantra
Deep breathing again, getting there
Pauline still sick and coughing

7.17-9.05 Hatha Yoga


-Janu Sirsasana Left, Right
-Pavritta Janu Sirsasana Left, Right
-Upavistha Konasana
-Paschimottanasana
(the above x3)

-Baddha Padmasana right side
-Janusirsana with Ardhabaddhapadmasana Left, right

-Hands and knees Ardhadhanurasana Left, right
-Hands and knees Parvrittardhadhanurasana Left, right
-Uthitta Balasana
-Adhomukhasvanasana

-Tadasana
-UthittaTadasana
-Uttansana
-High Lunge Left, Right
-Konasana Left, Right
-Pavrittatrikonasana Left, Right
-Lizard Posture (utthan pristhasana) Left, Right
-One armed Plank (6 breaths) Left, Right
-Chaturanga dandasana
-Superman
-Adhomukasvansana
-Vashishthasana variation with leg raise Left, Right
-Camatkarasana (wild thing) Left, Right
-Adhomukasvansana
-Padangusthasana

-Tadasana
-Uthitta Tadasana
-Virabhadrasana 1 Left, Right
-Rotated Lateral Flank Left, Right
-One Armed Plank (6 breaths) Left, Right
-Chaturanga Dandasana
-Twisted Cobra (shashankpralasana)
-Adhomukasvansana
-TriviKramasana

-Agnisarkriya (standing, flapping on the last 3)
-Mayurasana (extended)

-Extended bridge
-Chakrasana x2
-Nauvasana
-Extended bridge
-Reclining twist

-Sirsasana (tilted on the forehead)
-Plough hands on feet
-Plough hands extended behind
-Sarvangasana

-Matsyasana
-Suptapadangustasana Left, Right
-Shavasana

Strange to practice in my old space.  I can feel old bad habits and emotional sensations trying to creep up.

8.27-9.11pm MMM Shavasana/Stillness/Breathing
Breath more difficult until the very end
4 breaks because I was afraid bugs were crawling on me (how silly, who cares if they do?  The old infestation/contamination fear)

9.15-9.32 pm Padmasana/Mantra
kept nodding off, called it early

relevant result

June 17 Sunday

5.05-5.23 Padmasana/Mantra
Eager to begin the mission of driving from Vermont to Maryland

10.00-11.00
1.00-3.00 MMM stillness/breathing
Practiced as best I could in the car on the long ride down.  At least 1 hour uninterrupted on 2 separate occasions.  After each practice colors appeared more vivid and photos turned out better.  Had a vision of a female goddess archetype

10.25-10.32 pm  Padmasana/Mantra
Tried breathing in padmasana.
Some success, but so tired from the long drive

Relevant result

June 16 Saturday

6.10-6.25 Padmasana/Mantra
Eager to go outside and take a walk

Taught Qi-Gong: 2 more students.  Result from sigil drawn on 6/14.

1.00 pm Bornless Ritual (Liber Samekh)
Circumstances:
Sunny nice
ceiling fan on
Candle (white) lit in front of a statue of Kali
Seated with book
Drew circle with finger
Kabbalistic Cross for banishing
Drew pentacles in all four corners, imagined them spinning around me
Recited ritual
As I was reciting, I felt the pressure build and build
At the end there was silence and I attempted gnosis (still imperfect)
In the moment I achieved it there was a distinct sense of otherness and a disembodied voice whispered in my ear: B-A-A-OR-AT-AA

Kabbalistic cross, drew pentacles in all four corners, imagined them spinning around me.  Closed the book, blew out the candle.

8.23-9.07pm MMM shavasana/stillness/breathing
Breath still getting easier, nose was itchy.  Didn't want to come out of trance.

9.11-9.26 pm Padmasana/Mantra
Easier to focus tonight, Pauline was in and out which was a little jarring.  Muscle in front of left leg on the tibia side started to ache for the last 10 minutes of my seat.

relevant result

June 15 Friday

6.10-6.30 Padmasana/Mantra
A couple breaks due to allergies

7.00-8.45 Hatha Yoga


-Janu Sirsasana Left, Right
-Pavritta Janu Sirsasana Left, Right
-Upavistha Konasana
-Paschimottanasana
(the above x3)

-Baddha Padmasana right side
-Janusirsana with Ardhabaddhapadmasana Left, right

-Hands and knees Ardhadhanurasana Left, right
-Hands and knees Parvrittardhadhanurasana Left, right
-Uthitta Balasana
-Adhomukhasvanasana

-Tadasana
-UthittaTadasana
-Uttansana
-High Lunge Left, Right
-Konasana Left, Right
-Pavrittatrikonasana Left, Right
-Lizard Posture (utthan pristhasana) Left, Right
-One armed Plank (6 breaths) Left, Right
-Chaturanga dandasana
-Superman
-Adhomukasvansana
-Vashishthasana variation with leg raise Left, Right
-Camatkarasana (wild thing) Left, Right
-Adhomukasvansana
-Padangusthasana

-Tadasana
-Uthitta Tadasana
-Virabhadrasana 1 Left, Right
-Rotated Lateral Flank Left, Right
-One Armed Plank (6 breaths) Left, Right
-Chaturanga Dandasana
-Twisted Cobra (shashankpralasana)
-Adhomukasvansana
-TriviKramasana

-Agnisarkriya (standing, flapping on the last 3)
-Mayurasana (extended)

-Extended bridge
-Chakrasana x2
-Nauvasana
-Extended bridge
-Reclining twist

-Sirsasana (tilted on the forehead)
-Plough hands on feet
-Plough hands extended behind
-Sarvangasana

-Matsyasana
-Suptapadangustasana Left, Right
-Shavasana

-I feel out of sorts today, maybe I am just tired?

9.00-10.30 Divination for general trends
Tarot: 4 of disks (lord of power)
Financial success but not other real movement.  Job is imminent.

I Ching:



16.  Yu (enthusiasm).
Yang is gaining ground

Bottom line moving: Subject proclaims pleasure and satisfaction, there will be evil

Top moving: Darkened mind devoted to monetary or other pleasure and satisfaction.  If course is changed even when it is considered completion there will be no error.

Moving to:



21. Shi ho (Biting Through)
Successful progress with legal constraint

9.05-9.50 pm MMM shavasana/breathing/stillness
Saw stars
Had what felt like perfect breathing in the middle of practice

9.50-10.12 pm Padmasana/Mantra
Sleepy, still

relevant result

June 14 Thursday

6.10-6.30 Padmasana/Mantra
2 breaks related to work
1 break related to biology

6.40-8.23 Hatha yoga

Janu Sirsasana Left, Right

-Pavritta Janu Sirsasana Left, Right
-Upavistha Konasana
-Paschimottanasana
(the above x3)

-Baddha Padmasana right side
-Janusirsana with Ardhabaddhapadmasana Left, right

-Hands and knees Ardhadhanurasana Left, right
-Hands and knees Parvrittardhadhanurasana Left, right
-Uthitta Balasana
-Adhomukhasvanasana

-Tadasana
-UthittaTadasana
-Uttansana
-High Lunge Left, Right
-Konasana Left, Right
-Pavrittatrikonasana Left, Right
-Lizard Posture (utthan pristhasana) Left, Right
-One armed Plank (6 breaths) Left, Right
-Chaturanga dandasana
-Superman
-Adhomukasvansana
-Vashishthasana variation with leg raise Left, Right
-Camatkarasana (wild thing) Left, Right
-Adhomukasvansana
-Padangusthasana

-Tadasana
-Uthitta Tadasana
-Virabhadrasana 1 Left, Right
-Rotated Lateral Flank Left, Right
-One Armed Plank (6 breaths) Left, Right
-Chaturanga Dandasana
-Twisted Cobra (shashankpralasana)
-Adhomukasvansana
-TriviKramasana

-Agnisarkriya (standing, flapping on the last 3)
-Mayurasana (extended)

-Extended bridge
-Chakrasana x2
-Nauvasana
-Extended bridge
-Reclining twist

-Sirsasana (tilted on the forehead)
-Plough hands on feet
-Plough hands extended behind
-Sarvangasana

-Matsyasana
-Suptapadangustasana Left, Right
-Shavasana

Pulse in my feet in headstand this time
Chakrasana felt purgative and exorcising

8.30-9.00 Sigil Writing
GBRP

9.30-11.00 Red Rite
18 hands
Pilgrim x3
Horseman x3
Extended bostaff x3 (10 breaths)
-Dont criticize yourself

John the baptist vs. asmodai

9.10-9.55 pm MMM shavasana/stillness/breathing
Breath is getting easier.  First 10 felt right.
Had a few moments of no thought I think (!)
Chilly air coming in through the window
Itchy allergic ear, Pauling coughing, Ceiling fan on.

9.55-10.15 Padmasana/mantra
5 breaks into revery, getting better
right side, back of the head had a pleasant tingle about halfway through

relevant result

June 13 Wednesday

6.30-6.50 Padmasana/Mantra
Smelled that baby powder hospital smell, has no source.  Got stronger the deeper I went.

7.00-8.50 Hatha Yoga

Janu Sirsasana Left, Right

-Pavritta Janu Sirsasana Left, Right
-Upavistha Konasana
-Paschimottanasana
(the above x3)

-Baddha Padmasana right side
-Janusirsana with Ardhabaddhapadmasana Left, right

-Hands and knees Ardhadhanurasana Left, right
-Hands and knees Parvrittardhadhanurasana Left, right
-Uthitta Balasana
-Adhomukhasvanasana

-Tadasana
-UthittaTadasana
-Uttansana
-High Lunge Left, Right
-Konasana Left, Right
-Pavrittatrikonasana Left, Right
-Lizard Posture (utthan pristhasana) Left, Right
-One armed Plank (6 breaths) Left, Right
-Chaturanga dandasana
-Superman
-Adhomukasvansana
-Vashishthasana variation with leg raise Left, Right
-Camatkarasana (wild thing) Left, Right
-Adhomukasvansana

-Tadasana
-Uthitta Tadasana
-Virabhadrasana 1 Left, Right
-Rotated Lateral Flank Left, Right
-One Armed Plank (6 breaths) Left, Right
-Chaturanga Dandasana
-Twisted Cobra (shashankpralasana)
-Adhomukasvansana

-Agnisarkriya (standing, flapping on the last 3)
-Mayurasana (extended)

-Extended bridge
-Chakrasana x2
-Nauvasana
-Extended bridge
-Reclining twist

-Sirsasana (tilted on the forehead)
-Plough hands on feet
-Plough hands extended behind
-Sarvangasana

-Matsyasana
-Suptapadangustasana Left, Right
-Shavasana

In shoulderstand I could see my pulse on the top of both feet, felt quite strongly there.  When I came down I could feel the blood pleasantly and warmly rushing to my feet.
In agni sara, laughter welled up and was uncontrollable.

9.00-9.30 Liber EEE tarot trick, only disk, cup, sword or trump
28 correct out of 78=36%
tough, got court cards and trumps confused often.  Maybe next time I'll add court cards.  Speed seems to be the key.  The faster I came up with an answer the more likely it would be correct.  Slower=brain interference.

9.00-9.51 pm Liber MMM shavasana/stillness/breath
Breathing much easier tonight.
Found myself awash in the feeling of inadequacy and failure, pointlessness.  I am all too familiar with these feelings.
Saw them wash away, mostly.
Feel much better now, realized how awful of a use of energy they are.
I think they were engendered by feeling like work is too stressful and the failure of getting a tai-chi class/yoga class up and running in Burlington
How silly it seems now

10.00-10.20 Padmasana/Mantra
Still indolent later in meditation
Attempted some deep breathing, closer to Liber MMM, seemed distracting, but it may be the ticket.

relevant results

June 12, Tuesday

6.16-6.33 Padmasana/Mantra
1 break.  Heartburn for the first time in many years.  Then I had to stop.  Colon-rectal spasm.

6.45-8.45 Hatha Yoga

-Janu Sirsasana Left, Right

-Pavritta Janu Sirsasana Left, Right
-Upavistha Konasana
-Paschimottanasana
(the above x3)

-Baddha Padmasana right side
-Janusirsana with Ardhabaddhapadmasana Left, right

-Hands and knees Ardhadhanurasana Left, right
-Hands and knees Parvrittardhadhanurasana Left, right
-Uthitta Balasana
-Adhomukhasvanasana

-Tadasana
-UthittaTadasana
-Uttansana
-High Lunge Left, Right
-Konasana Left, Right
-Pavrittatrikonasana Left, Right
-Lizard Posture (utthan pristhasana) Left, Right
-One armed Plank (6 breaths) Left, Right
-Chaturanga dandasana
-Superman
-Adhomukasvansana
-Vashishthasana variation with leg raise Left, Right
-Camatkarasana (wild thing) Left, Right
-Adhomukasvansana

-Tadasana
-Uthitta Tadasana
-Virabhadrasana 1 Left, Right
-Rotated Lateral Flank Left, Right
-One Armed Plank (6 breaths) Left, Right
-Chaturanga Dandasana
-Twisted Cobra (shashankpralasana)
-Adhomukasvansana

-Agnisarkriya (standing, flapping on the last 3)
-Mayurasana (extended)

-Extended bridge
-Chakrasana x2
-Extended bridge
-Reclining twist

-Sirsasana (tilted on the forehead)
-Plough hands on feet
-Plough hands extended behind
-Sarvangasana

-Matsyasana
-Suptapadangustasana Left, Right
-Shavasana

Many breaks, my stomach...

Aqua Fortis: nitric acid (oxidiser)
Aqua Regia: 1 part AF +3-4 Hydrochloric acid (spirit of Salt)
Oil of Vitriol: sulfuric acid

9.00 Tarot:
take the job.
The hanged Man: wait for 5 swords to pass.
The internal environment is changing, this is no simple heartburn, but growing pains.
No qi-gong today, body needs rest I suppose, strange, disconcerting headache.

9.11-9.50 pm Liber MMM shavasana/stillness/breath
A little better, 1 break

9.50-10:15 Padmasana/Mantra
I find the full MMM breathing easier here

relevant results

June 11, Monday

6.31-6.51 Padmasana/Mantra
-I feel too self referential

7.00-8.51 Hatha Yoga

-Janu Sirsasana Left, Right

-Pavritta Janu Sirsasana Left, Right
-Upavistha Konasana
-Paschimottanasana
(the above x3)

-Baddha Padmasana right side
-Janusirsana with Ardhabaddhapadmasana Left, right

-Hands and knees Ardhadhanurasana Left, right
-Hands and knees Parvrittardhadhanurasana Left, right
-Uthitta Balasana
-Adhomukhasvanasana

-Tadasana
-UthittaTadasana
-Uttansana
-High Lunge Left, Right
-Konasana Left, Right
-Pavrittatrikonasana Left, Right
-Lizard Posture (utthan pristhasana) Left, Right
-One armed Plank (6 breaths) Left, Right
-Chaturanga dandasana
-Superman
-Adhomukasvansana
-Vashishthasana variation with leg raise Left, Right
-Camatkarasana (wild thing) Left, Right
-Adhomukasvansana

-Tadasana
-Uthitta Tadasana
-Virabhadrasana 1 Left, Right
-Rotated Lateral Flank Left, Right
-One Armed Plank (6 breaths) Left, Right
-Chaturanga Dandasana
-Twisted Cobra (shashankpralasana)
-Adhomukasvansana

-Agnisarkriya (standing, flapping on the last 3)
-Mayurasana (extended)

-Extended bridge
-Chakrasana x2
-Extended bridge
-Reclining twist

-Sirsasana (tilted on the forehead)
-Plough hands on feet
-Plough hands extended behind
-Sarvangasana

-Matsyasana
-Suptapadangustasana Left, Right
-Shavasana

-went fron "I don't know how much longer I can stay in this skin" to holding the germ of that and "Fuck yes I can kil this day!" at the same time.

17. Sui, following. Stay firm and correct (keep practicing).  Situation evolves slowly, gaining ground.

transforming into:

25. WuWang, the unexpected.  Stay centered, great progress.

Complete OLLI form tomorrow

9.05 Sigil writing
"Pockets jingle and the great work can continue"

9.30-10.30 Red Rite
18 hands
Pilgrim x3
Horseman x3
Bostaff extension x 3 (10 breaths)

10.30 Liber E tarot guessing
The object of this exercise is to guess the card before turning it over.  Allegedly, with practice the ability to do this improves.

Temperance =/ the wheel
4 of swords =/ Justice
The world =/Ace of Wands (related)
7 of swords =/ Knight of pentacles
5 of wands =/king of swords
9 of pentacles =/ 2 of cups
3 of wands =/ hanged man
9 of swords =/3 of pentacles
chariot =/ queen of pentacles
ace of cups =/ 9 of cups (same suit)
tower =/ knight of cups
chariot =/ the high priestess
4 of wands =/death
hermit =/ 10 of cups
7 of disks =/ chariot
7 of cups =/ 9 of pentacles
strength =/ the hierophant
temperance =/ 10 of swords
4 of swords =/ 7 of wands
4 of wands =/ 3 of swords
the world =/ page of swords
7 of cups =/ 8 of pentacles

0 right, some were related

9.09-9.54 Liber MMM shavasana/breathing/stillness
Breathing much easier tonight.  Feel some small progress. Deep in the middle the ceiling fan's cord striking the fan registered as a flash of lightning in my body

10.01-10.15 Padmasana/mantra
Broke early, allergies have rendered me exhausted, there is no profit to be gained from falling asleep whilst sitting up.
-Had a vision that moved: of a man's arm in a suit like he was drawing attention to each box on an assembly line as it moved past.

relevant results

June 10 Sunday

6.50-7.10 Padmasana/Mantra
-Some breaks, generally getting better
-Breaks about: the rest of the day, work, etc.
-Finished 1 minute early, way better than yesterday.

8.00 Qi-Gong for banishing
-Moving Clouds Make Rain x3
-Lift the moon x4
-Heaven Chi x 4
-Slow Bear x5
-Middle Pillar x6

9.30-11.00 Taught Hatha Yoga/Qi Gong

Going to Middlebury

After Journaling a wild melancholy set in.

9.08-9.53pm  MMM Shavasana
-Exhalation very difficult tonight
-I don't feel confident
-Maybe my ego is starting to be undone?
-Maybe I am shedding what isn't needed?
-Am I losing my mind?
-Best to persist
-Nose itched so much, broke discipline to scratch, next time I'll just cut it off.  Dry throat caused several hard swallows, also distracting

10.01-10.21 Padmasana/Mantra
-Maybe I'm just having an allergic reaction
-I am shedding something! Can hardly breathe

relevant results

June 9 Saturday

Going to Castleton to take the paraeducator exam

4.30-4.45 Padmasana/Mantra
too excited to sit still for that long.
Road was beautiful
Exam was easy

11.00 Greater banishing ritual of pentagram
Went to teach Qi-Gong.
No one showed up, so I practiced.  It was moved to noon so I didn't expect attendance anyway
did 18 hands of lohan
No attendance is inaccurate.  One student (D.) showed at 12.25 but it didn't seem fair to teach with only 20 or so minutes left.

9.51-10.35 pm MMM shavasana, breathing, stillness
Still full from dinner
breathing getting easier, not there yet

10.35-10.48 pm Padmasana/Mantra
pleasant sensations in the body.
Disembodied voices.
things are changing and moving
BUT taking minutes off practice is no good, do better tomorrow.

relevant results

June 8 Friday

Slept like a baby through the whole night

6.10-6.30 Padmasana/Mantra

6.40-8:30 Hatha Yoga

-Janu Sirsasana Left, Right

-Pavritta Janu Sirsasana Left, Right
-Upavistha Konasana
-Paschimottanasana
(the above x3)

-Baddha Padmasana right side
-Janusirsana with Ardhabaddhapadmasana Left, right

-Hands and knees Ardhadhanurasana Left, right
-Hands and knees Parvrittardhadhanurasana Left, right
-Uthitta Balasana
-Adhomukhasvanasana

-Tadasana
-UthittaTadasana
-Uttansana
-High Lunge Left, Right
-Konasana Left, Right
-Pavrittatrikonasana Left, Right
-Lizard Posture (utthan pristhasana) Left, Right
-One armed Plank (6 breaths) Left, Right
-Chaturanga dandasana
-Superman
-Adhomukasvansana
-Vashishthasana variation with leg raise Left, Right
-Camatkarasana (wild thing) Left, Right
-Adhomukasvansana

-Tadasana
-Uthitta Tadasana
-Virabhadrasana 1 Left, Right
-Rotated Lateral Flank Left, Right
-One Armed Plank (6 breaths) Left, Right
-Chaturanga Dandasana
-Twisted Cobra (shashankpralasana)
-Adhomukasvansana

-Agnisarkriya (standing, flapping on the last 3)
-Mayurasana (extended)

-Extended bridge
-Chakrasana x2
-Extended bridge
-Reclining twist

-Sirsasana (tilted on the forehead)
-Plough hands on feet
-Plough hands extended behind
-Sarvangasana

-Matsyasana
-Suptapadangustasana Left, Right
-Shavasana

9.30-11.30 Sigil Writing
GBR pentagram

12.00-1.00 Rite
18 hands of Lohan
3xPilgirm
3xHorseman

1.00 Went downtown to collect photos
-drew a sigil for a girl playing the harp in lieu of putting money in her hat.  Her playing was remarkable, ephemeral, maybe I'm more sensitive.

-had an inkling to call myself a monastic Choate.

8.15-9.00 MMM stillness, breathing in shavasana
-breathing much easier than last night.  I feel as if I got a few breaths right.  Steady progress is good.

9.05-9.25 Padmasana/Mantra
-so relaxed my body would occasionally slump.
-saw vivid imagery: the color red, me as a child in an afterschool program, a sponge driving a car

relevant results

June 7 Thursday

6.45-7.05 Padmasana/Mantra
-Mantra is beginning to have more meaning, it is easier to hold on to.
-In the mornings I am just full of shit.
-*I seek a vision of the spirits and gainful employment today*

Something is different.  Not sure I slept last night, but I still feel awake.  A little groggy, but awake.

7.10-9.04 Hatha Yoga


-Janu Sirsasana Left, Right
-Pavritta Janu Sirsasana Left, Right
-Upavistha Konasana
-Paschimottanasana
(the above x3)

-Baddha Padmasana right side
-Janusirsana with Ardhabaddhapadmasana Left, right

-Hands and knees Ardhadhanurasana Left, right
-Hands and knees Parvrittardhadhanurasana Left, right
-Uthitta Balasana
-Adhomukhasvanasana

-Tadasana
-UthittaTadasana
-Uttansana
-High Lunge Left, Right
-Konasana Left, Right
-Pavrittatrikonasana Left, Right
-Lizard Posture (utthan pristhasana) Left, Right
-One armed Plank (6 breaths) Left, Right
-Chaturanga dandasana
-Superman
-Adhomukasvansana
-Vashishthasana variation with leg raise Left, Right
-Camatkarasana (wild thing) Left, Right
-Adhomukasvansana

-Tadasana
-Uthitta Tadasana
-Virabhadrasana 1 Left, Right
-Rotated Lateral Flank Left, Right
-One Armed Plank (6 breaths) Left, Right
-Chaturanga Dandasana
-Twisted Cobra (shashankpralasana)
-Adhomukasvansana

-Agnisarkriya (standing, flapping on the last 3)
-Mayurasana (extended)

-Extended bridge
-Chakrasana x2
-Extended bridge
-Reclining twist

-Sirsasana (tilted on the forehead)
-Plough hands on feet
-Plough hands extended behind
-Sarvangasana

-Matsyasana
-Suptapadangustasana Left, Right
-Shavasana

-Distracted by the whirling light box of delight (computer) today

10.00-11.00 Sigil Writing
Procedure: Kabbalistic Cross as banishing

11.00-12.30 Rite
18 hands of Lohan
3x pilgrim form
3x horseman form

9.08-10.09 MMM Stillness/Breathing
-Much trouble with the exhale today, only partially solved by the end of the practice

10.12-10.32 Padmasana/Mantra
-Tired tonight, almost nodding off.  Alcohol may be to blame.

http://brightspiral.blogspot.com/2012/06/augoiedes.html

June 6 Wednesday

6.39-6.59 Padmasana/Mantra
-Initially, thoughts of my bowels drifted to work.  Then I began to use my mantra to replace any thought that arose, on to something here

7.45-9.33 am Hatha Yoga


-Janu Sirsasana Left, Right
-Pavritta Janu Sirsasana Left, Right
-Upavistha Konasana
-Paschimottanasana
(the above x3)

-Janusirsana with Ardhabaddhapadmasana Left, right

-Hands and knees Ardhadhanurasana Left, right
-Hands and knees Parvrittardhadhanurasana Left, right
-Uthitta Balasana
-Adhomukhasvanasana

-Tadasana
-UthittaTadasana
-Uttansana
-High Lunge Left, Right
-Konasana Left, Right
-Pavrittatrikonasana Left, Right
-Lizard Posture (utthan pristhasana) Left, Right
-One armed Plank (6 breaths) Left, Right
-Chaturanga dandasana
-Superman
-Adhomukasvansana
-Vashishthasana variation with leg raise Left, Right
-Camatkarasana (wild thing) Left, Right
-Adhomukasvansana

-Tadasana
-Uthitta Tadasana
-Virabhadrasana 1 Left, Right
-Rotated Lateral Flank Left, Right
-One Armed Plank (6 breaths) Left, Right
-Chaturanga Dandasana
-Twisted Cobra (shashankpralasana)
-Adhomukasvansana

-Agnisarkriya (standing, flapping on the last 3)
-Mayurasana (extended)

-Extended bridge
-Chakrasana x2
-Extended bridge
-Reclining twist

-Sirsasana (tilted on the forehead)
-Plough hands on feet
-Plough hands extended behind
-Sarvangasana

-Matsyasana
-Suptapadangustasana Left, Right
-Shavasana

- almost accidentally did one armed pigeon
-chakrasana is getting easier, why does that worry me?

11:00-1:20 Rite
Vijaya mantra, a cup of oolong tea (as an invocation to Chinnamasta)
Walk, collect photos return
Bow in Anjuli mudra to every female I pass

Greater Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram: sealed with a spoonful of honey

While walking I encountered the feces of what must have been a very sick animal.  It smelled awful and my immediate fear was of airborn diseases.  I said aloud, "that smells bad" and began to walk away.  There can be no aversion, so I walked back and smelled the unthinkable muck.

1:30-2:20 Sigil Writing (servitor)

9.17-10.02 MMM
-Shavasana, stillness, breathing, trying not to think
-The inhalation is quite easy to make slow and full, but the exhalation requires my full attention or it fits and starts in a staccato.  Lost concentration frequently.
-Common thoughts: "What will I do tomorrow" and "I need a new job"

10.06-10.26 Padmasana/mantra
-Left leg quite numb
-Focused really hard tonight, minimal breaks.  I noticed that when I had a subtle descent in energy (moses calls it a "slump"), as soon as  I noticed it, if I redoubled my effort just a bit and lifted my sternum by body became pleasantly numb.

http://brightspiral.blogspot.com/2012/06/augoiedes.html

June 5 Tuesday

Remember that no yoga posture had a name until the 1800s and many schools call various postures by completely different names


June 5th, Tuesday Day 1 of 182

7.24-7.44am Padmasana, Jnana Mudra, Mantra 
-I noticed my bowels had not completely evacuated
7.45-9.33am Hatha yoga: Practice Structure: Each posture held for 10 breaths unless noted
-Janu Sirsasana Left, Right
-Pavritta Janu Sirsasana Left, Right
-Upavistha Konasana
-Paschimottanasana
(the above x3)

-Baddha Padmasana right side
-Janusirsana with Ardhabaddhapadmasana Left, right

-Hands and knees Ardhadhanurasana Left, right
-Hands and knees Parvrittardhadhanurasana Left, right
-Uthitta Balasana
-Adhomukhasvanasana

-Tadasana
-UthittaTadasana
-Uttansana
-High Lunge Left, Right
-Konasana Left, Right
-Pavrittatrikonasana Left, Right
-Lizard Posture (utthan pristhasana) Left, Right
-One armed Plank (6 breaths) Left, Right
-Chaturanga dandasana
-Superman
-Adhomukasvansana
-Vashishthasana variation with leg raise Left, Right
-Camatkarasana (wild thing) Left, Right
-Adhomukasvansana

-Tadasana
-Uthitta Tadasana
-Virabhadrasana 1 Left, Right
-Rotated Lateral Flank Left, Right
-One Armed Plank (6 breaths) Left, Right
-Chaturanga Dandasana
-Twisted Cobra (shashankpralasana)
-Adhomukasvansana

-Agnisarkriya (standing, flapping on the last 3)
-Mayurasana (extended)

-Extended bridge
-Chakrasana x2
-Extended bridge
-Reclining twist

-Sirsasana (tilted on the forehead)
-Plough hands on feet
-Plough hands extended behind
-Sarvangasana

-Matsyasana
-Suptapadangustasana Left, Right
-Shavasana

-During Warrior 1 I noticed my old injury sire, was stiff during twisted cobra there
-While tilting forward in headstand I had a moment of pure balance where I could have lifted my hands, which frightened me.

I feel tangled today, only 6 hours of sleep last night.  Finding design jobs to apply to that are related to the work, a definite result.
I feel like my brain is struggling to keep up and perform all of its new tasks

Trends: I ching Hexagram 3, Chun Difficulty at the beginning, moving to:

Hexagram 24, Fu: clear passage

7 days...something good.  Diviniation, so vague, feels like I'm pointed in the right direction.

[Blood Clouds]

A child wanted to be my buddy and help me clean up today.

9.05-9.51 pm ~45 minutes

Liber MMM
Motionlessness + Breathing

Laid on the floor next to the bed in Shavasana after a few minutes began deep breathing.  Occasionally lost in reverie about hopes and fears about potential job, this happened when I lost track of my breath.
Some limited interruption, noises caused by other people in the room.  I persisted.  Sometimes my eyes stopped moving around in my head.
Attempted "no thinking", ver tricky

10.00-10.20 Padmasana/mantra
Related results post